Mastering Rage

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Before you leave the house you take a shower, shave whatever part is appropriate, and stand naked in front of the mirror. You make sure your hair is perfect, check that there is nothing stuck in your teeth, check your face, and if you can stand it you take a look at your body. You get dressed, check the mirror again, and take your ugly interior life out in public to ruin the whole effort.

Don’t get me wrong. Good grooming is important. I don’t like it when my date has green junk in her teeth and her perfume overwhelms the room. I never go back for a second date. I hate it worse when she tailgates and bitches at the slow drivers ahead and is totally unaware that she is doing it. I take a cab home as soon as the car stops. What good is it to INSPECT the outside and forget to INTROSPECT about our thoughts and actions.

If you start to pay attention to your actions you will see that we all see the trouble coming up. You’re driving down the road of life and you see the thing that always sets you off. Some call it a trigger. So what do you do? You keep heading right for it until it causes the exact same reaction you always have. Admit it. You can accept it. We learned about acceptance in the last chapter. It happens over and over again until we figure out how to handle it right. So what would happen if you saw it coming and decided to take a different route? What if you choose to react differently when the trigger happens? Bingo. You’ve started to grow. Doesn’t mean you will succeed at first, but you will never grow until you take the first step.

O.K. So how do we do it? It is really easy, but it is a little complicated to set up the first time. Setting it up is part of the process, though. What we need is a list of questions to ask ourselves every night. Write down five to seven questions about your thoughts, five to seven about your actions, and if you are of a spiritual nature five to seven about your spiritual practice.

Here’s a list to get you started:

Thoughts:

  • Was I on a path of improvement today?
  • Did I look for the bright side of life?
  • Did I pay attention to my thoughts throughout the day?
  • Did I try to accept others today?
  • Did I accept myself?
  • Did I try to look for a different way to handle my triggers?
  • Did I think about the effect I have on others?

Actions:

  • Did I react today in the same old way?
  • Did I tell someone I love him/her?
  • Did I yell at anyone?
  • Did I do that thing I am trying to stop doing?
  • Did I exercise today?
  • Did I get out of bed?
  • Did I at least inspect my teeth?

Spiritual Practice:

  • Did I read my spiritual book?
  • Did I meditate for five minutes?
  • Did I seek forgiveness?
  • Did I pray?
  • Did I seek the help of a higher power?
  • Did I accept others?
  • Did I show love and compassion?