Self Mastery

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An excerpt from Bipolar In Order: Looking At Depression, Mania, Hallucination, And Delusion From The Other Side

"I have come to measure spiritual advancement, not alone by the light that surrounds one when he meditates or by the visions he has of the saints, but by what he is able to endure in the hard cold light of day."
- Sister Gyanamata1

Self-mastery is Clear Insight, True Freedom, and Real Stability in action. You have attained self-mastery when every word and deed is based on doing the right thing instead of habits or emotion. Self-mastery is the overwhelming desire to act better today than yesterday.

Self-mastery requires introspection. I covered a basic technique for introspection in The Bipolar Advantage book.2 The process is an easy way to become more aware of our thoughts and actions as well as the events that trigger them.

The steps to simple introspection include creating a list of questions to ask ourselves, nightly review of those questions, and use of the subconscious mind to monitor our thoughts and behaviors. We create five to seven questions each about our thoughts, actions, and spiritual life. Each question needs to have a "yes" or "no" answer so that it is a simple process during our nightly review. During the day, the subconscious mind monitors our every thought and action so that it can answer the questions at night. With regular practice, the thoughts and events that trigger our behaviors become conscious and we find that we can choose the right response. Simple introspection is a powerful tool on the path to self-mastery.

While simple introspection can help us to better understand ourselves and our reactions to circumstances, real introspection is what it takes to achieve self-mastery. Self-mastery comes when we introspect continuously. No longer reliant on subconscious processes, we are consciously monitoring our thoughts and behaviors. We find that every action is preceded by a thought, even those we once believed to be automatic responses to stimuli. We decide to take the best response based on the insight gained in previous experiences. We may not always succeed, but with each attempt, our options become more clear and we develop the wisdom to make the right decision for the circumstance.

One of the early insights that comes from introspection is recognition of our tendency to excuse our behavior with justifications. Even when we know our actions to be wrong, we justify them by claiming that they were a reaction to what someone else did or some other outside influence. Self-mastery means there are no excuses for our behavior. We understand that no matter what the circumstance, we have the wisdom and willpower to do the right thing.

Occasionally I see a bumper sticker that says, "What would Jesus do?" I wonder if the sentiment is merely a platitude or an ideal the driver truly wants to live up to. Before every word or action, we need to ask ourselves if what we are thinking is in line with our own ideals. After every event, we need to analyze what we did and determine a better response for the next time we are confronted with a similar circumstance. When "What would I do" becomes the same as "What would Jesus do," we have fully attained self-mastery.

Many people try to justify their lack of willpower by saying that we are not Jesus and therefore cannot live up to his example. I have searched far and wide through the Bible and other religious texts and have not found anything to suggest such an attitude. In fact, scripture speaks of following his example. We have to take responsibility for our failings, but should never lower the bar for what is possible or stop trying to improve.

In the depths of his deepest struggle, Jesus rose above the darkness and the pain. He put his own suffering aside and forgave the very ones who were putting him to death. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."3 His action is our example of what Jesus would do and exactly how he addressed an outside trigger. We most certainly will not attain that level of self-mastery easily or quickly, but it is an attainable goal and we should strive for nothing less.

Long before Jesus was born, Patanjali wrote the Yoga Sutras,4 otherwise known as the "noble eightfold path." These eight steps outline the highest or "royal" path to enlightenment with references to the Mahabarata5 and the Bhavagad Gita,6 which recount events dating as early as 5,000 years ago. The foundation of the "royal" path is self-mastery.

The eight steps on the path include Yama (things you should do), Niyama (things you shouldn't do), Asana (discipline of the body), Pranayama (life force control), Pratyhara (withdrawal of all senses), Dharana (concentration), Dhyana (meditation), and Samadhi (oneness, enlightenment, ecstasy, equanimity). Without the foundation of self-mastery, it is not possible to reach the ultimate goal. Many people think that they can just skip over self-mastery (yama/niyama, the Ten Commandments) and meditate their way to enlightenment, but thousands of years of experience says otherwise.

Self-mastery is as much a path as a destination. We must constantly work on personal growth and judge our progress not in comparison to others, but to our own past. If we are going to become masters of our own lives, we need to set clear and measurable goals as outlined in the How To Get There section and constantly assess whether we are justifying our current thoughts and actions.

Justification takes many forms: excusing our behavior because someone else acts badly, blaming our actions on circumstances, and, worst of all, for those with mental conditions, claiming that our condition has ultimate power over our actions. Do we really think our condition is somehow harder to overcome than the problems and difficulties the saints from all religions faced? Is our pain somehow worse than so many others throughout history that overcame their hardships? While we have exceptional challenges, the answer is no. Our challenges do not prevent us from achieving self-mastery. From my perspective, we succeed in part because of our condition.

Self-mastery is available to everyone who makes the effort. In the final analysis, how we act is the only valid criteria for anyone who claims that his/her condition is under control. Too many people are claiming that they don't need help when their behavior says otherwise. Far worse, too many are saying that you should follow their advice when their own results betray the effectiveness of their claims. If you cannot point out clear and measurable improvements over the last year and clear goals as outlined in the How To Get There section, you are not on the path to self-mastery.

The world seems designed to help us on the path to self-mastery. As soon as we think we have something mastered, we are confronted with an opportunity to prove it. We all have someone in our lives whose behavior really bothers us. He or she may be a work colleague, a classmate, a friend, or a family member. That person may no longer be a part of your life, but you will continue to be challenged by individuals with the same mannerisms until you have learned how to handle that behavior in others. Even after you do figure it out, people with those same behaviors will keep showing up just to make sure you haven't slipped. It is a law of the universe.

A great way to make sure you still have it under control is the Grocery Store Test.7 When you pick a line at the grocery store because you think it is going to be the fastest one, it turns into the slowest. Your mind starts thinking, "I wish that lady would quit fumbling in her purse and just pay the bill" or "If the clerk would shut up and scan faster I could get out of here." Those kind of thoughts lead to behaviors that are often far less than self-mastery if we don't learn to recognize them and change. When we can remain calm and help everyone else in line to calm down too, we have exhibited self-mastery and made a positive change in the world.

  1. God Alone, Selections from the letters of Sister Gyanamata, 1984, Self-Realization Fellowship, CA, p.181↑
  2. Wootton, Tom, The Bipolar Advantage, 2005, Bipolar Advantage Publishers, CA p.68-81↑
  3. Luke 23:34↑
  4. Swami Vivekananda, The Yoga-Sutras of Patanjali: The Essential Yoga Texts for Spiritual Enlightenment, Translation, 2007 Watkins, London↑
  5. Smith, J.D., The Mahabharata, 2009, Abridged ed., Penguin Classics, NY ↑
  6. Yogananda,Paramahansa, The Bhavagad Gita, translation, 2003 Self-Realization Fellowship, CA↑
  7. The Grocery Store Test always gets a laugh at my talks, probably because we have all failed the test repeatedly and know it.↑